Birthday, OOTD and #PlusSizeDebate
Now there’s a combination!
So today is my birthday, I turn 31, which I have to say feels whole lot less stressful than turning 30. I have come to terms with my 20’s being over finally.
Today has been an interesting day,daughter ill, plans cancelled, and then to top the morning off I got abuse when I went to drop my son off at nursery.
The abuse was because these men were apparently horrified by the sight of my fat body walking by some shops.
It didn’t escape my notice that this was on the same day that Plus Size Wars is due to air (tonight 8pm Channel 4 – cannot wait to see all the incredible women I know will be on it!) and my timeline was filled with wonderful plus size women dealing with all manner of nastiness.
There were all the usual comments, plus size women were “glorifying obesity” etc.
I’ve seen comments saying that we shouldn’t be allowed to buy clothes because then we might think we were being encouraged to gain weight. In fact plus size people in the public eye at all, aside from as laughing stocks, are a Bad Thing because we might learn that we are worthwhile human beings with as much to offer as our slimmer counterparts.
At first I was angry, and in fact tweeted my rage at the fact that these kinds of comments just meant that idiots like those men at the shops felt it was ok to yell abuse at someone just going about their daily business. These comments were all part of a culture that meant that abuse wasn’t unusual for fat people. I was so so fucking angry.
However, things picked up.
My husband (oh yes, husband, I’m fat and someone actually finds me worth love, and is willing – in fact keen – to have sex with me) had bought me this absolutely beautiful dress from Hell Bunny.
It’s in a size 18, and fits perfectly. I often have problems with halter neck dresses thanks to my back problems, they put weight on exactly the point on my neck which hurts the most. With this dress the straps are long enough that I can cross them over at the chest and distribute the weight slightly better.
My wonderful husband knows me so well, despite me never having pointed this dress out to him he knew I’d go mad for the B-movie print. And the cut of it is just so flattering on me!
It’s a full circle skirt, so I’m looking forward to trying it with a petticoat, but I think it works just as well without. Plus the little girl in me really really enjoyed spinning around in it!
As you can see!
It also fits nicely around the back, I often find that the back on halter necks seems to fit slightly funny, but this one stays up without digging in
The print on it is fantastic, I love the graphics used and the colours. My favourite “poster” has to be “Attack of the B-Movie”
I’ve teamed the dress with my £4 Primark hat that I love so much a floral hairband that I’ve just pinned to my hair with bobby pins, a beautiful lace parasol that I bought on Ebay many years ago and some cute strawberry Claire’s Accessories earrings.
While I was getting photos for this OOTD post, I ended up taking this one. And I looked at it and thought, “you know what? Fuck those nasty men earlier, fuck all the fat hating idiots online, I look good!” Yes, I’m fat. Yes, I’m obese. Yes, I’m very much plus size. And yes, I’ve even got the utter gall to be an unhealthy fattie. But I look good, not in spite of my weight, weight and attractiveness aren’t mutually exclusive.
I’ve got a husband and two children who love me, and have done their best to make a fairly rough birthday the best it can be. I owe it to them to enjoy my life, not get bogged down in worrying about if miserable strangers don’t like me or the way I look.
I’m making a conscious decision to surround myself with supportive people. With people who find joy in life even when there are others who’d rather they were less visible.
Tonight I’ll be watching some of these people on Plus Size Wars on Channel 4, to see some incredible bloggers who’ve been so influential on my life recently. I imagine the hate will kick up even more on social networks tonight, so think it’s important to support all the other plus size women who will be targets for it.
I love you all, and I’m proud to stand by you.
And to my friends and family who have always been there to build me up and support me, I love you all so much. Have a high five from me and the littlest monster.
And to the hatred filled people who think they are somehow entitled to spew their bile at people just for not hiding themselves away?